The Difference between the Master and Koschei
by thesoundoftheuniverse
Summary: The Master contemplated regenerating when the Doctor begged him to that day on the Valiant. And the Master took out all grudges Koschei kept against Theta on the Doctor. The Doctor only tried to help, but the neither Master nor Koschei could look past that word: "help."
1. Help

Theta/Koschei, Ten/Simm!Master | Oneshot WITH ALTERNATE ENDING! | romance, fluffy, angst, slight!au

Notes: Setting at the end of The Sound of Drums. First Doctor Who fic, hope I didn't screw this up~ Reviews would be loved! *^^*

* * *

It hurts. Of course it hurts. But to look into those deep brown eyes, so broken and helpless, hurts even more. So he doesn't look. He looks everywhere except at his face. The windows are clear, a bright, cloudless day ahead of those who stayed alive. Jack stands in the corner, watching, because he's always watching the Doctor. He practically worships him. He's obviously in love with him. The Jones' huddle around each other, terrified. He had brought this upon them. He is the one who scares them and belittles them. _Humans_, he thinks, _so easily manipulated and malleable in my hands. He can remodel this world into his ideal planet, into Gallifrey-no! Gallifrey burned. Everyone died, and it was _his_ fault!_

Tears threaten to fall, but they never do, because he has to be strong. He can't show his weakness to him, he who had always stood with him on those red plains and under the silver trees but no longer when he stepped onto the blood-soaked plains of the Time War. He doesn't care that there are other people in the room. Emotions pour out of him, emotions that had been locked away for decades—centuries! His hands grip the fabric of his clothes tightly, begging him to stay, to live.

"Regenerate!" he screams, his voice echoing in his own ears.

"I win..." he breathes heavily.

"Regenerate!" It's such a desperate cry. He's the only family he has left.

It hurts so much, more than the wound. Those eyes that were once Theta's were so full of hurt and fear... So much fear. And love—always love with him. He clings to life so that he can see he who was once Theta. He feels his body being picked up in his strong arms. Those arms were once so weak and frail.

* * *

_"Koschei!"_

_He heard a loud thump and a yelp as he whipped around._

_"Koschei!" the little boy yelled as he picked up all the books strewn around him._

_"Theta!" he exclaimed, running to his side to help. "What is all this?_

_"Books, Koschei! They're old TARDIS manuals," he answered excitedly, rushing to collect all the books into his arms as his shaggy bangs fell in front of his eyes._

_Koschei frowned and swiped the soft hair behind Theta's ear gently. "Why do you have these? Are you still thinking of stealing a TARDIS?"_

_"I'm so impatient, Koschei!" he whined as he stumbled to his feet. "I want one so badly!"_

_"We'll get one when we graduate from the Academy."_

_Theta gazed at Koschei as they began to stroll down the hallway, large pillars grazing the edges of their vision, the bright orange sky bathing everything it touched in a fiery glow. The boy had never seen Theta so passionate and determined before._

_"I want a TARDIS, Koschei," he growled._

_The older Time Lord sighed when Theta suddenly crashed to the ground again, the books scattering across the floor. Koschei instantly stooped down to collect the items for his friend, and Theta wrapped his thin arms around his friend's shoulders in thanks. _Those arms_, Koschei thought, _are so weak_. And as Theta held onto him tighter, he added, _Yet they feel so safe.

* * *

The pitter-patter of his leather shoes dashing across the metal floor almost makes him laugh. His hearts are pounding in his ears, those hearts that are so loving and loud, louder than those annoying drums. Even in his death hour, the Time Lords are calling him to battle. And then she drowns out the drumming with the sound of the universe, the sound of existence. It is such a blessing to hear the sound of everything creating, everything destroying, everything living, and everything dying.

The TARDIS is beautiful. He loves how he designed the machine, the living machine. It is absolutely beautiful. But not as beautiful as Theta, he muttered to himself.

He kicks the doors open and rushes through the labyrinth of hallways, his feet clanking against the metal floors, trying to find a bedroom, any bedroom. Ironically, he finds the master bedroom and lays him on the soft, red sheets. He stands over him, tears finally cascading down his cheeks.

"Koschei... Please... Regenerate!" he pleads.

"I'm not Koschei," he growls.

"Yes, you are! And I'm Theta! Theta Sigma! You remember! You know!"

"Koschei and Theta died with Gallifrey! You are the Doctor! As I am the Master..."

The Doctor fists his hands into the Master's thin shirt stained with his crimson blood. "Please... Please... Koschei..." he mutters, resting his forehead against his fellow Time Lord's.

The Master chuckles deeply at the name, his consciousness clinging onto his last breaths. His thumb swipes across the Doctor's smooth cheek, wiping the tears away. "You could never let go of me, could you, Doctor? Theta..."

* * *

_ "Theta... Theta! Theta, stop it!"_

_He couldn't say he hated it. Actually he loved it. He loved how Theta's lower lip curled forward, quivering tremendously, exaggeratedly, but nevertheless, sincerely. He loved how Theta's eyes watered and how he tried to blink away tears. He loved how Theta's cheeks flushed a deep pink, the cold nipping at his face. He loved how Theta's luscious, thick hair whipped around his face, such a mess of brown against his rosy cheeks and pale skin. And he absolutely loved how Theta's small hands gripped his wrist as if Koschei were being sentenced to death._

_"Theta..." Koschei breathed. Theta was always beautiful. Even when he was on the brink of crying, Koschei thought he was absolutely beautiful._

_He could feel how stiff Theta's frozen fingers were. Theta shivered in the bitter cold and Koschei wanted to tell him to go back inside, to go back home, but he didn't have the heart to. His Theta was clinging to him as if his life depended on it._

_"Why, Koschei?" Theta cried, tugging on his arm._

_"I won't be gone long," he answered. "I'll be home for dinner."_

_"But... Koschei! We were supposed to go together!" he whined._

_Koschei took both of Theta's small hands into his own. His hands were warm against the younger Time Lord's. A chaste kiss was pressed to the small boy's fingers. Theta blushed a deep red._

_"Koschei..." he breathed. "Can't I come with you?"_

_"If I told you to jump off a mountain, would you?" Koschei asked._

_There was no hesitation. "Yes."_

_There was a moment of silence, only the moaning winds and crystal snow between them. Koschei smiled weakly and kissed Theta on the forehead._

_"Go home... I don't want you to get in trouble," he said._

_Koschei left little Theta in the snow, hoping he'd go home, but he knew that Theta wouldn't. He wasn't gone for more than twenty minutes when he found Theta sleeping under a silver tree dripping icicles from its branches. His plump lips were blue, arms and knees huddled to his chest, in attempt to hold in his body heat._

_Koschei sighed heavily. Theta never could let go of him. Even for a second._

_Theta's small frame was gathered into Koschei's strong arms, and they headed back to the Citadel, back home. But unbeknownst to Koschei, Theta was still awake, smiling widely as he listened to his friend's beating hearts in time to his own._

* * *

The Master laughs as the Doctor races around the room, mixing random ointments, liquids, foams, and various other things together.

"You're not going to die on me, Koschei!" he screams as he pours a light blue liquid into a beaker.

"Koschei didn't die on you..." he chuckles grimly. "_You_ died on Koschei."

The Doctor ignores his comment and rushes to the bed, a beaker of green substance with cloudy smoke emitting from it in his hand. He slides his hand beneath the Master's back and helps him sit up as he holds the beaker to his lips.

"Drink it, Koschei..." he says in an almost broken voice.

The Master grins oddly before complying, opening his mouth and tipping his head back so the Doctor can let him slowly sip the potion. The Doctor strokes the Master's hair. It used to be so smooth and long.

"_Koschei_..." he mutters unknowingly with a sad and reminiscent tone. It feels so familiar on his tongue. It warms his heart. It brings back memories. It makes him feel... at home.

And the Master chuckles aloud. The Doctor pulls the beaker from the Master's mouth and looks at him in puzzlement. His eyes are swimming in pride and memories as he gazes into the Doctor's.

"You really do love his name, don't you, Theta..." he whispers.

The Doctor presses his forehead to the Master's. "I never stopped loving it... Him... _You_..." he murmurs as he closes his eyes. "Forever and ever... Remember?"

* * *

_The rays of the twin suns danced between the leaves of the silver trees, sparkling and gleaming on that bright summer's evening. And in the shadows and branches, two boys jested and laughed._

_"Koschei!" Theta called._

_Koschei turned around and looked up to find Theta hanging upside down from a golden branch._

_"Theta! You're gonna fall!" he yelled, eyes widening in fear._

_"Oh come on, Koschei!" he laughed, adjusting himself. "I'm not seventy anymore! I'm all grown!"_

_"Doesn't matter! Get down!" Koschei demanded._

_Theta glanced down uncertainly, suddenly aware of how high up he was, and Koschei could see that by the way he clung to the branch so tightly that his pale knuckles turned a ghostly white._

_"Theta..." he muttered in slight amusement and disappointment._

_"K-Koschei..." Theta whined, soft sobs of fear escaping his mouth.__ "Help!"_

_The older Time Lord paused for a moment. "Why do you constantly say me name? Every time you talk, you say my name..." he said._

_"Koschei, I'm about to fall off a branch and you're asking about your name?! How vain!" Suddenly, Theta lost his balance and nearly tipped backwards, falling off the branch, but caught himself on the smooth wood._

_"Theta!" Koschei screamed in alarm. "Just tell me and I'll get you down!"_

_Theta screwed his eyes shut and shook his head vehemently, refusing to answer._

_"Come on! It's just a simple question. Why?" Koschei's eyes didn't dare look anywhere but at the younger Time Lord. "_Why_?"_

_"Because I love you, Koschei!" he screamed nearly in one breath. "I want to shout it to all of Gallifrey and tell our parents and tell the moon and the stars and I say your name all the time because I love it so much and take every opportunity to say it because I really_ really love you, Koschei_!"_

_There was silence before Koschei suddenly said, "Theta, jump..."_

_And without hesitation, he did. He fell straight into Koschei's arms, sending them crashing to the ground. Theta's hearts pounded in time with Koschei's as his ear rested on his chest, listening to the erratic beat. Neither of them moved an inch for a few moments._

_"Really, Theta?" he suddenly asked._

_Theta picked his head up to gaze into the Time Lord's eyes. Green eyes of passion and honesty bore into Koschei's own hopeful brown eyes._

_"Yes, Koschei... Forever and ever."_

_And with that, Koschei grabbed hold of Theta's soft hair and sealed their lips together in what began as a chaste kiss. And then mouths started to move in sync; tongues pushed past each other; and curious hands roamed, tugging on long hair and scratching at flawless skin, as legs entwined._

_The boys who were once so young and innocent became intimate lovers._

* * *

The Doctor pulls away slowly, watching the Master's every facial motion.

"Remember," he whispers.

The Master shows that he remembers, and he shows and inkling of care and passion and love. His eyes glaze over, as if he were watching the scene right in front of him, past memories digging up hidden emotions. His mouth hangs open in remembrance and shock. The Doctor can almost hear how loud and erratic the Master's hearts beat.

"We were always there for each other, Koschei..." he says softly, gripping his shoulders. "We we're always happy together... If you regenerate, we can go back to those days."

"Always?" the Master growls angrily. He pushes the Doctor's forehead to his again. "What about these times?"

* * *

_ Theta saw it. And Koschei knew he saw it. Yet he didn't do anything. It clearly wasn't Koschei's fault, but nevertheless, he was the one getting punished._

_"You were planning on taking a TARDIS before you were ready!" Koschei's father yelled at him, slapping a manual near his face._

_"No! They're not mine!" he screamed in protest._

_"Then whose are they?" he asked sternly, waving the thick book around._

_Koschei shut his lips. He couldn't rat Theta out. Theta would be questioned, possibly imprisoned. Stealing a TARDIS was a grave matter, and no one took the thought lightly, except Theta of course. Koschei couldn't bear to think of what would happen to his precious Theta._

_"Mine..." he muttered darkly, hanging his head._

_Theta stood by the doorframe as the manual was ripped to shreds and burned. Koschei saw the hurt and the astonishment in Theta's eyes. Theta glanced at Koschei, but his eyes only portrayed how dangerous stealing a TARDIS was._

_And then there was the time they were supposed to meet up together and go to the mountains during the night._

_"Are you sure you'll be there?" he asked._

_ "Of course, Koschei!" Theta answered. "Just sit beneath the tree. I'll come."_

_And Koschei did, of course. He sat beneath the silver trees, the cold wind battering his thin jacket. Theta never did show up that night, but it was never spoken of again. Nothing but a small, "I'm sorry..."_

_And when they returned to school, Koschei began slacking off. He couldn't focus, not with the pounding drumming in his ears, in his mind, day and night._

_"Koschei... Are you-It's getting worse, isn't it?" Theta asked._

_"Go away, Theta..." he growled, rubbing his temples._

_"Koschei! I can help!" he said excitedly. "I'm going to be the Doctor! I can heal you!"_

_"Just shut up and go away!" he screamed._

_Theta frowned. "Fine, Koschei..." he muttered hotly as he stood up and walked away._

_The drumming never stopped. It got worse. Day by day, it got louder and pounded harder and harder against his skull._

_"Koschei, I can help!" Theta insisted._

_"No one can help me!" Koschei shouted back as he pounds his fists into the table._

_"Koschei! Please... I'll do everything I can! I love yo-"_

_"_Shut up, Theta_! You make it worse!" Koschei's furious now. "I can't take it anymore. Just_ go away_!" Theta stumbled back in surprise but regained his composure quickly._

_"K-Koschei!" Theta took a step toward he who used to return his feelings so lovingly, showering him with chaste kisses and gentle touches, but as he laid a hand on Koschei's shoulder, Theta knew that he was far gone. The younger boy reeled back in pain as Koschei hit him hard in the cheek, emerald eyes widening in pain and shock._

_"Koschei..." he whimpered, a thin layer of unshed tears glistening over his bright eyes. And he thought that Theta has never looked more beautiful than now._

_"I will be the Master, Theta..." he growled, gripping the younger Time Lord painfully by the wrist. "And I will master these drums. I will rule the _universe_! I rule your heart already, Theta."_

_He forcefully pulled Theta flush against his body, trapping him in his arms. "Theta Sigma..." Koschei growled lowly. "Beautiful Theta...my Theta... _Mine_!"_

_Koschei suddenly attacked Theta's lips with his own, capturing them in a rough battle of teeth and tongues. Theta wasn't sure whether to pull away or melt into Koschei's embrace. His hands were rough and bruising, as were his lips. His touches were completely unforgiving. And Theta stayed still for him, letting Koschei take advantage of him, because he knew the drums hurt._

_He felt Koschei's soft hands on his skin, feeling the smooth expanse, and then he dug his nails into his back. Theta screamed out, gripping onto his lover's shoulders, but Koschei only had interest in getting Theta's clothes off his body. Koschei tore off the obstructing shirt, ripping the fabric to pieces, allowing his nails to scratch at that once unblemished skin. Theta cried out, tears at the edges of his eyes but refusing to be shed. Koschei loved the sight. He loved dominating his frail, thin, weak Theta._

_"K-Koschei..." Theta whimpered, gazing into the other's blue eyes._

_Theta was absolutely beautiful, tearing up, lips red and swollen, eyes full of hurt and confusion, and Theta was his. Koschei smirked and dug his sharp teeth deep into Theta's pale shoulder._

_"Koschei!" he screamed, pushing the boy he loved away, and he let go of Theta._

_Theta shook his head, his body trembling as he backed away slowly, holding his hands to his chest. Koschei couldn't help but smile at the sight. Theta's smooth, pale skin rubbed red, bitten and bruised blue and black. Fears of him were depicted in his eyes, but also love for him... Always love._

_"Say my name..." Koschei snarled. "Say it..."_

_Theta's lower lip quivered, his beautiful green eyes spilling crystal tears._

"Say it!"

_"Master..." Theta murmured, and then he ran._

_The drumming subsided and Koschei paused. Theta had left him._

* * *

"Stop it! Stop it!" he screams as he pushes the Master away from him.

"_You_ left _me_!" he yells at him. "_You_ ran away!"

"You drove me to it!" the Doctor shouts angrily, forcing their foreheads together again. "You drove me to _this_!"

* * *

_ Theta couldn't take the abuse much more, the constant hitting and the loud yelling. Every night Theta hoped he'd come back to his shared dorm to the old Koschei, the one who was so loving and gentle, but he was always met with the new Koschei, the one who wanted to dominate and own everything. He loved Koschei with his life, with all of his lives, but he needed to get away. He needed to let the madness calm down. But there was nowhere on Gallifrey Koschei couldn't find him. Nowhere to hide from the madness and the pain, where endless nights left his wrists raw, his throat hoarse, his body bruised and beaten, and his heart broken._

_He was walking through the corridors of an old TARDIS factory in a hollow attempt to escape Koschei for an hour or two while he was busy with war preparations, while the war waged on. Theta cared nothing for the Academy, and he was doing his best to escape battle. All the death and destruction reminded him too much of the Master who wanted to rule the world. Theta healed people, not destroyed them. Even if it was the Daleks, he couldn't just commit genocide._

_He was too impatient to wait for his graduation from the Academy, and once he owned his own TARDIS he wasn't sure if the Academy would let him do what he wanted to with it. The Time Lords were strict about time, but Theta just wanted to see everything about the entire universe, all of time and space. And he wanted to help those destroyed and dying civilizations, to heal them, Doctor them._

_Suddenly, he heard a soft sound, almost... like crying. But it wasn't crying. He followed the sound, and a soft sigh of amazement escaped his lips when he pushed open a heavy metal door._

_"You're beautiful..." he muttered in awe as he gazed upon a smooth, wooden blue box. It had Earth words on it: "Police Public Call Box." On the handle, a small key hung by a piece of string. She was obviously disguised, but he could hear her. She was crying. She was sad._

_"Why're you sad?" he asked, stroking the smooth doors._

Why're _you_ sad?_ she asked._

_"I want to see the universe, but I don't think the Time Lords allow it the way I want to," he answered._

Me too...

_"Why're you here?"_

I'm an old TARDIS, a type 40. No one needs me.

_"Well you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Next to Koschei, that is."_

Who is Koschei?

_"My... Lover..."_

You're uncertain...

_"He calls himself the Master now."_

So he's graduated.

_"No... But he's chosen his title."_

And what did you chose?

_"Doctor. I want to heal Koschei of those accursed drums. I want to heal Gallifrey. I want to heal the universe. I want to help!"_

But... You're afraid of Koschei?

_"Very..."_

You love a monster?

_"I guess I do."_

_"Theta!" a loud voice sang with a malicious tone, echoing through the metal corridors._

_The boy panicked, glancing over his shoulder. Koschei had found him._

_"Theta, I know you're in here!" he screamed. "Come to your Master!"_

Hide... I can hide you, Theta... We can run away together.

_Theta gazed at the TARDIS and then at the small silver key hanging from the door handle. Nowhere on _Gallifrey_ could Theta hide from Koschei. He slipped the key into the lock. The tumblers clicked and the door unlocked._

I'll take you far from here, Theta.

_The inside was a brilliant blend of colors and lights. But Theta had little time to admire the interior as he struggled to remember how to fly a TARDIS; he'd never been good at it._

_Levers were pulled and buttons were pushed. Theta was running around the console like a madman. As Theta threw down a grey lever that made the TARDIS make a loud whooshing noise, he heard Koschei's desperate cry._

_"Theta!" he screamed. "Why are you leaving me?"_

_He walked to the door slowly, pressing a hand to the closed TARDIS doors. "I'm sorry, Koschei. I love you..." he whispered._

_"Get out of there right now!" he ordered._

_Instantly, without reluctance, he wrapped his hand around the handle and tried to pull the door open only to find that it was still locked._

_"Hey! Hey! Let me out!" the young Time Lord screamed._

You said you'd run away with me. You're stealing a TARDIS. So I'm stealing a Time Lord.

_"Let me out! Koschei! _Koschei_! Help!"_

_Theta banged furiously on the metals doors, tears streaming down his face as he tried to pound the door down, but he knew that the TARDIS had already left Gallifrey, and him with her._

_"Koschei..." he cried. "Master..."_

* * *

"That's how it happened..." the Doctor sobs.

The Master frowns. "You left in the middle of the Time War."

"I was _stolen_ in the middle of the Time War."

"And yet you stayed with her all this time?"

"I couldn't return... I'd have been killed!"

"And me?"

He pauses. "You abused me."

"I loved you."

"I _still_ love you. Just—Please let me help you."

"And what about all the times you said you'd be there for me?!"

The Doctor looks away in shame.

"You were a coward, and you still are! Running and running, always running and never looking back!" the Master screams.

He can feel the last of his energy slip away. He won't have the strength to regenerate.

"Please... K-Koschei..." the Doctor cries, as he lays his head on the Master's chest, listening to his slowing heartbeats. _One... Two... Three... Four..._

He strokes the Doctor's hair. "Oh, Theta... Little Theta... _My_ Theta..."

"Koschei..."

"You could never live up to your name, could you, _Doctor_?"

The Doctor's eyes widen as the beats stopped altogether. "K-Koschei..." he calls softly.

There's no answer.

"Koschei..." he cries. "Master..."

And the TARDIS looks upon the two Time Lords, the last in the entire universe. And she feels pity... But she does not regret stealing little Theta that day—_Koschei's Theta_.


	2. Alternate Ending

A/N: This alternate ending replaces everything after the last four asterisks (****) near the end of the fic.

* * *

"That's what happened!" he screams.

The Master pauses. "Oh... Theta... My precious Theta..."

"I'm here, Master..." the Doctor sobs, clinging to his shirt. "Please... Please! Regenerate!"

He chuckles lowly as the drums become louder and louder; she's having a hard time keeping them at bay.

"Will you get rid of the drums?" he asks softly.

"I will try my best..." he answers.

It's a good enough answer for him. "Stand back," he orders.

And just like Theta, the Doctor complies immediately without question. He can't help but smile. He can be together with Koschei... In the TARDIS, like they'd always dreamed.

The Doctor laughs loudly in joy as energy leaks off of the Masters fingers, golden wisps of pure, raw energy. He can't wait. He stands and watches as the Master's body is bathed in gold. The wounds began to heal as the fluorescent light renews the skin, changing it. With a bright orange-yellow burst, his entire body changes.

The Doctor rushes to the bedside and looks down upon the new Master, but before he can even say anything or observe the changes, he grabs the Doctor by the back of the head and crashes their lips together. The Doctor melts into the Master's embrace and allows his body to be pulled on the bed.

Threading his fingers through the Master's new, shaggy blonde hair, the Doctor moans into the other Time Lord's mouth. The Master straddles his hips and finally allows their lungs to intake air.

"Theta..." he breathes as he presses his forehead to the Doctor's.

"Koschei..." he answers, staring into the Master's new pale blue eyes.

"Make the drumming go away," he says softly. "Help me."

The Doctor smiles and kisses him. "I'll try..." Holding his palms against the Master's temples, he listens to the insane drums. It makes his blood boil and makes shivers crawl up his spine. It's the call to war. It's the call to fight. It's the call to die. And it hurts.

Images of the burning planet invade his mind. He can see everything the older Time Lord had seen in the war—the death and destruction of their home, chaos everywhere. The Daleks were ruthless, killing everything on sight. The Time Lords barely stood a chance, yet Rassilion and the council members were locked in their meeting room, discussing plans of removing the Time Lock. The Doctor remembers this plan well, knowing fully that it was completely foolish. He made Gallifrey burn. He was the one who ensure that the Time Lock stayed in place. No one can come back to the Last Great Time War. But it hurt so much. To see two great species burn together in the fires of what looked like hell. The red mountains blazed a bright orange. The burnt sky became dark with smoke. Ashes fell over the abandoned Citadel, the great glass dome shattered into pieces. Circular spaceships that belonged to the Daleks littered the burning fields, strewn across the surface of the planet. He can bear it anymore, because he knows it's his fault that it all happened. And the drumming… The incessant drumming that he can hear drives him insane. It controls him.

"I can't..." he sobs, pulling away from the Master. "I can't... It's so strong... Too strong... It hurts…"

The Master chuckles grimly, the corner of his lip curling up into a smirk, slightly disappointed; he gets off of the Doctor, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"You tried, Theta..." he mutters. "You always try..."


End file.
